“Here we go again, another new blog written by a middle class white girl who think she’s being original. Bet she’ll have so much to tell us on how to get boys to like you and why replacing 2 meals a day with avocado toast will guarantee you live to see the birth of your great-great-grandchildren”.
I hate disappoint you, but I ain’t that bitch!
Although I don’t eat meat or dairy, I’m Scottish. Green things terrify me and I’m more likely to shout abuse at a boy until he runs home to his maw than charm him into bed with sweet nothings and fluttering lashes. What I can instead offer is some stories from nearly 22 years on Earth. Stories of what happens when you turn your back on the traditional boy meets girl and settles down, as well as how to turn your trauma on its head and come out the other side with a sense of humour darker than I can put into a socially acceptable simile.
“But why? Who gives a shit on what you have to say?”
First of all, dad…is that you?
We live in an era of judgement. We constantly judge ourselves and others based on their actions and opinions. Girls are meant to look gorgeous at all times, but God forbid they actually do it to liberate themselves. They should flaunt their bodies for the boys in the club, but if she decides to take one home she’s easy. If this girl is lucky enough to find someone to take care of her, she should devote herself. Her man is the only man that matters. No matter how hot Channing Tatum looks she should only have eyes for Scott, the apprentice plumber from round the corner. They should then get married, have 2.9 kids and live eternity just like their parents did, and so on so on. Mental health is something that also supposedly weakens us. Young people are meant to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something they can’t control. Just cheer up, right? What have you got to feel sad about? This is all in your head and I just can’t understand how you feel…
If only there was something out there that normalises not listening to all of this bullshit and just doing things because it feels right, huh?
In short, what this blog is sure to become is a collection of stories and thoughts from a girl who is:
- Exploring her sexuality, because f**k living in denial
- Very much in love but also non-monogamous, because f**k heteronormativity and people are beautiful
- Learning to love a painfully average body, because f**k shaming your own genetics
- Dealing with mental health issues, because f**k suffering in silence when you could actually help people feel less alone
- A vulgar mouthed moron, because why the f**k not!
So if you like stories about hilariously awful one night stands, terrible Tinder texts and how awesome life can be when you stop caring about Big Brother watching..then stay tuned! And hey, maybe we can all celebrate the original idea of being unoriginal!